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Bin Laden Death Reminds Local Man To Disfavor Muslims

16 May 2011 4 Comments Email This Post Email This Post

Bin Laden Death Reminds Local Man To Disfavor Muslims

Darius Emadi

Guest contributor to Loonwatch

Local man James Delaney told reporters Monday that the death of Osama Bin Laden re-sparked his hostility towards American-Muslims.

“Years after the shock of September 11th, I became a little lost,” Delaney remembered. “I thought before I spoke, I watched documentaries on the history and culture of Islam, I made the distinction between Islam’s approximate 975,000,000 members and the handful of terrorists in the world – I just wasn’t feeling like myself.”

The change came as a result of the Osama bin Laden killing. According to Brock Alden, a friend of Delaney, who was with him the night the news was announced, Delaney logged onto Twitter and read several Islamophobic tweets posted by notable comedians, admired colleagues, and strangers around the country.

Delaney recalls the night.

“I read one tweet from a comedian that said, ‘To celebrate, New York City should grant each citizen to punch a cab driver in the face!’ I thought, boy, that sounds a lot like my earlier years when I found relief by placing my fears and insecurities on vulnerable members of a minority. That sounds like fun!’”

After reading several Islamophobic tweets, Delaney felt inspired to write one himself:

Posted by Delaney was the following: Death to America? Death to all Muslims and Islam – we won!!! #TeamUSA

“Honestly,” said Alden. “I hadn’t seen James feel that much pride since after September 11th when he faxed an Imam a drawing of Porky Pig. He recently went through a divorce, so I was just glad to see him excited again.”

Within minutes of sending his last tweet of the night, ideas fired through Delaney’s head.

“I was killing it,” Delaney recalls.

According to assistant Imam Muhammad Abid of the East Center Mosque, Delaney had sent the mosque’s Imam an email saying, ‘Take that, camel jockeys! Your leader’s dead!’, along with an attached mp3 of Delaney signing the American national anthem.

Said Delaney, “It’s a blessing to feel alive again.”

When asked if Delaney had listened to President Obama’s speech reminding Americans to distinguish the difference between bin Laden and American-Muslims, Delaney shook his head, and responded, “Yes. It’s good to make that distinction. But if Bin Laden’s death taught me anything it’s that you can go at any minute. Do I really want to waste more time making distinctions?”

Delaney shared his plans for the future. “Well, to be honest, I have kind of calmed down as of late – I’ve been busy grading my students’ chemistry homework.  But, hopefully, with the AP exams done and over in June, I’ll get some free time. I have an amazing idea for a graphic T – it’s great to have a hobby again.”

Imam Hasan Akbar, the recipient of Delaney’s hate mail, was unavailable for comment. According to the assistant Imam Muhammad Abid, Akbar had left to buy 10 American flags.

The piece is satire. Darius Emadi is a writer comedian based in SeattleWA.


  1. [2.56] Then We raised you up after your death that you may give thanks.
    [2.57] And We made the clouds to give shade over you and We sent to you manna and quails: Eat of the good things that We have given you; and they did not do Us any harm, but they made their own souls suffer the loss.
    [2.58] And when We said: Enter this city, then eat from it a plenteous (food) wherever you wish, and enter the gate making obeisance, and say, forgiveness. We will forgive you your wrongs and give more to those who do good (to others).
    [2.59] But those who were unjust changed it for a saying other than that which had been spoken to them, so We sent upon those who were unjust a pestilence from heaven, because they transgressed.
    [2.60] And when Musa prayed for drink for his people, We said: Strike the rock with your staff So there gushed from it twelve springs; each tribe knew its drinking place: Eat and drink of the provisions of Allah and do not act corruptly in the land, making mischief.
    [2.61] And when you said: O Musa! we cannot bear with one food, therefore pray Lord on our behalf to bring forth for us out of what the earth grows, of its herbs and its cucumbers and its garlic and its lentils and its onions. He said: Will you exchange that which is better for that which is worse? Enter a city, so you will have what you ask for. And abasement and humiliation were brought down upon them, and they became deserving of Allah’s wrath; this was so because they disbelieved in the communications of Allah and killed the prophets unjustly; this was so because they disobeyed and exceeded the limits.
    [2.62] Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.
    [2.63] And when We took a promise from you and lifted the mountain over you: Take hold of the law (Tavrat) We have given you with firmness and bear in mind what is in it, so that you may guard (against evil).

  2. maybe they could have had this guy on.

    “Killing of the kafir (non-believer) for any reason you can say it is OK, even if there is no reason for it.” He called on his followers to poison, ambush and kill non-believers and added: “You must have a stand with your heart, with your tongue, with your money, with your hand, with your sword, with your Kalashnikov. Don’t ask shall I do this, just do it.”[33]

    Of licensors for alcohol sellers he said: “Make sure that the person who gave him the licence for that wine shop doesn’t exist any more on the Earth. Finish him up. Give him dawa (inviting non-Muslims to accept the truth of Islam). If he doesn’t respect dawa, kill him.”

    i wonder where he got these ideas??????

    hey another honor killing in the news, what if they were christians, or jews or hindus? would this site not have a “what if they were muslims article?” oh yeah they are muslims. yeah i’ve heard islam doesn’t condon violence. strange that so many muslims are so violent? well than again the koran says you can kill someone for “spreading mischief”. these females where clearly being mischievous, islam doesn’t allow muslim women to marry non-muslim men. i wonder if muslim women can’t marry non-muslims, and they consumated their illegal marriage, are they also considered fornicators. should the mothers have not giving them 100 lashes before strangling them. maybe they could have forgone the strangling part?

    and polytheists to boot. islam is the very definition of peace and tolerance, don’t you think????

    than again sometime lashes are enough to get the job done.

  3. sorry that comment should have been on the “does the bbc have a problem with islam” article

  4. So when is vicious satire blaming a caricature of an “average” American being an abject racist a joke?

    To me this shows the racist/intolerant views of “Islamophobia Today”. For you to find this “funny” enough to post only breeds the intolerance you (falsly) profess to want to stamp out.

    If you were to find a real story about a real person doing this we could all feel bad about the conduct and condemn it! But this posting by your editors is horrendously bad judgement!

    Same on YOU!

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